RaveBot (TM)
The RaveBot (aka The Machine) is the is the robot built by Jimmy Bolus in the basement of his parent’s house in Goffs Oak during the years 1998-2000, whilst clinging onto a part-time job in the local robotics factory. He stole parts and sold them to Japanese Triads to fund a growing addiction to strong drink.
Nobody knows the true age of the RaveBot as ‘he’ has existed virtually for many thousands of years inside computers, phone lines, digital watches and even a brief 500 year stint inside an ancient Egyptian tomb. Jimmy Bolus constructed the RaveBot’s body out of a washing machine, an old microwave, several tin cans, an old Commodore 64 and many millions of rolls of copper wire. He invoked the RaveBot’s spirit using a traditional pagan ritual called ‘Whalnubange’ (literally translated = ‘nutbanging’) whereby unusual objects are pushed against the testes of the invokee.
Although the RaveBot interface is still an integral part of RaveTap, we are phasing out the dominance of The Machine in light of recent events.
“He ain’t HAL-9000 but he’s a proper loon” (Smilex)
The RaveBot is prone to malfunction. On several occasions the RaveTap engineers have been called out at inconvenient times to fix stuff. The RaveBot created another robot last year – the RaveBug – designed to lessen the load on the RaveBot should anything go wrong. In reality the ‘Bug tried to disassemble the RaveBot, destroy Smilex’s sanity, murder Bolus & Braiken and generally fluff things up for RaveTap. Fortunately the ‘Bugs efforts were foiled but it still remains at large somewhere in the galaxy. The story of ‘RaveTap and the RaveBug’ is currently being made into a feature-length animated movie in Japan. Watch this space for release details.
Look out for the continuing success of RaveTap’s Robot Music night at the JayCubed and also Robot Music @ the District. Guests this year will blow you away. Also, the follow-up to RTD9 (date & venue tbc). RaveTap are soon to be wearing exclusive hand-printed clothing designed by the hottest new names in fashion. Look out for giveaways and mail order. Lest we forget the eagerly-awaited new mixes from Smilex, Jimmy Bolus and Braiken soon to be available here on DELTA 9.
Thanks for reading: what doesn’t bore you will make you stronger.
